How’s it going, it’s been a long while. Apologies for the absence! So for those of you who don’t know it’s my birthday today (High Five That) It’s a strange one as I don’t quite feel the age I am on paper, which is 27…. I do however I’m not not quite at that point to be worrying about the numbers, though could change at the drop of a hat :s
With every birthday comes reflection and a pause to evaluate, at least that’s my routine. What better time to do this then on the train to Oxford! It’s been a good year for me in terms of my work, family and friends. I don’t think I can really complain. It’s funny though I can remember vividly this time last year.
I was tanned from my holiday to the Algarve, it was my last week in my current role at the time and my brother’s musical pop up performance was waiting for me at home. The end of one, chapter, new beginnings and biding friends farewell. Most memorable at the time was the positive energy and sense of appreciation I felt for everyone. The same holds true today a year later.
I have an amazing set of friends and a family to match. At 27 I feel I know where my place is amongst all that a bit better now. With age comes clarity and wisdom in my case according to a few Individuals.
Birthday’s should be the birth of something new not just an anniversary of what is. With that thought in mind I am looking for something new, though I can’t pinpoint what exactly. Either way I’ve got a great team behind me (You Know who you are).
Presently I’m looking forward to today, boozing it up with my bro’s in Oxford and hopefully in the near future with the rest of the family.
Have a great weekend and thanks to all those who have wished me a Happy Birthday. I’ll be sure to have a drink to you 😉
How’s it going, get up to anything exciting this weekend? For me it’s been pretty standard, mainly a family affair with plenty of lazing around playing video games. I kind of thought gosh what am I going to blog about this week? Maybe I shouldn’t bother as I have nothing worthwhile to talk about… Then I thought well, I’ve been getting more and more people following my work so I owe it to them to keep things consistent and keep on getting better at this blogging thing B-)
So I done some thinking and just thought, what is different now compared with the same time last year? Before you say “This guy must have a brilliant memory”. Don’t be fooled I cheated a little Thanks to Facebook and their wonderful “On This Day” button which lets you see what happened exactly a year ago, plus the timeline on one’s profile. Venturing back let’s just say it was a pretty busy time, with plenty of things going on. It actually shocked me as I could have sworn those things happened a week or so ago (warped perception of time).
Definitely good times and plenty of fun memories. I’m not a nostalgic individual but sometimes the past can be a good framework for how you feel the future should be crafted. If I want some of that good stuff I’ll need to take a few steps to create some good foundations to build it upon. Perfect example is when I think of my friends and family a year ago and then a year onwards. A lot has changed, thankfully a lot of good has happened since then: Weddings, passing of exams, new cars, new jobs and so on. At present my two good friends are going through a bit of renaissance in terms of rewriting their paths they are walking at the moment.
One is nearing the end of his degree which has definitely moulded and changed him into a different person (for the better), the other is breaking the norm and is laying down the ground work for his business venture backed by his mentors. Both are more happier and enthusiastic then I can remember which in turn brings me joy, as they are on the way to greatness! It’s definitely inspiring and has given me plenty of food for thought as I am a bit confused to where I want to be in the near future.
My biggest obstacle in moving forward right now, is the lack of “Love”. It’s a bit of a buzz word in my head (goes to show a lot about my character) however in this case the word has a lot of other meanings and values attached to it then simply feeling strongly about something or someone. Put it this way, have you ever thought about how much love you inject into life? If life was a person that you showed an infinite amount of love for, how do you think it would react?
More relaxed, more confident, not being so caught up with their flaws but most of all have the best of them brought out for the world to see. Now personification aside, I am strong believer that life is very reactive and volatile. Sometimes things go your way and at other times they can go diabolically wrong. It’s a mixture of trial, error, experience with a bit of luck. There are also people inside that container labelled life. So make sure you show them some “Love” too. As for me I need to start doing more and taking more steps forward (or at least try) and just see where it leads me. Who know’s where I will be in a year from now, hopefully I won’t be revisiting this thought again but instead have a smile on my face knowing that my life is that much more rich.
Hope you readers have a brilliant week ahead and thanks for reading/following.
Hope your weekend has been a good one whatever you decided to get up to. As for me it has been one of almost zero productivity in any shape or form. This being said I was decided to not to post today as I just couldn’t decide what to write about. I guess I feel that whenever I write about something it has to be something that is bigger than myself, something that is supposed to make you think. It’s never really my intention it just so happens it’s down to timing and also I don’t want to bore my readers, then again though I get very little feedback so I don’t actually know if I am doing a good job…
Enough of the rambling though, I have 15min to get this post done and uploaded before it is officially the start of the new week!!! So I want to mention something that is related to a previous post about my new year summary. One of the negative points of 2013 was not being their for my friends (Close) as much as I would have liked to. That had made me feel quite guilty during 2013, as I didn’t make enough time to lend a hand or that I actually simply didn’t have the answers or that my advice may have been falling on deaf ears (Is that the phrase..)
Well here I am 2014 and I can say I am hopefully taking steps to reconcile with those feelings of guilt and offering my services once again. Within the last 2 hours I’ve managed to hopefully offer some advice to a friend going through a tough time at the moment and I also met up with my best friend for a late night coffee (Black Americano for me) and heard his brilliant idea for a future project. I don’t want to reveal anything as I don’t want to jynx it but I really impressed with what he has come up with. Though I didn’t give him the idea or push him that direction I am super happy that he decided to share it with me and his enthusiasm. I hope that it goes his way and it goes without saying I’ll help do whatever to make it!!
So there we have it. I think this is probably one of the most lighthearted posts I have ever done, nevertheless it doesn’t make it any less meaningful then my other posts (In my eyes anyway) I hope you all have a brilliant start to the week.
How has your weekend been? It’s pretty rare for me to post more than once in the space of a few days, actually I am not sure it has happened before, regardless I wanted to talk about something that has affected myself, my family, parents, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews,uncles and aunties alike.
Unfortunately my Grandmother and last remaining Grandparent passed away in the evening of 26th December 2013. Due to her poor health and other complications it was widely accepted in the family that her time was near however we never thought it would come so quickly.
Before I go any further I just want to say this post isn’t about expressing my grief or sadness at her passing, it’s more about my experience leading up to her death and up to the day of the funeral. What I write may be enlightening for those readers who know me personally but may also be insightful for others who have been through similar life experiences.
I won’t go into the specifics about my gran’s illness but essentially it was terminal from my understanding. She had been stuck in the hospital for the last month or so, getting weaker and weaker by the day but her mind was still sharp. She was eager to get home. In the end she was discharged from the hospital on the 26th December and was home by the early afternoon, though she wasn’t conscious. It may have been the medication or that she was fighting to hang on. She had made it home a day after xmas and was back in her bedroom. Knowing that she was back, family and friends flocked to her side to see her, though she wasn’t conscious.We were adament that she could hear what was going on.
All the preparations had been made with the hospital and GP who would help look after my gran whilst she was back home but in the end it wasn’t needed as she passed away peacefully after a few hours of being home surrounded by her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Everyone is in agreement that was probably what she was waiting for.
This would have been the first time I have seen anyone pass away in front of my eyes , I would imagine it would have been the same for others there at the time, however the depth and magnitude of loosing my gran at that point weighed heavy on all. The next few days after her death would be comprised of family and friends coming to the house to pay their respects up until the funeral. Everyone coming together because of an individual, a opportunity to remember fond memories of the past, catching up with the goings on in people’s lives and provide all the support needed to overcome the loss.
Even now I think to myself how much of an impact it has had on me to loose the only Grandmother I’ve known. In terms of my relationship with her, I wouldn’t say it was the closest, though I would say I remember her being kind and always interested in knowing what I was doing in life. Maybe if I made more of an effort to visit her more often, though it certainly was easier said then done.
Come the funeral day, seeing her laying in the coffin and saying prayers before taking her to the temple. It was a pretty overwhelming experience. Naturally there were tears as we paid our respects. It would be the last time we all saw her face before sealing up the coffin again, she certainly looked at peace considering the suffering she had been going through. There were times I felt my eyes begin to well up though after a deep breath I maintained my composure and comforted those around me. It may come back to haunt me later that I never let my emotions out though at the time it felt like the best course of action considering what was going on around me.
Later at the cremetorium I helped carry the coffin to the alter and we all said our last goodbyes, As the curtains drew to a close, that was really the moment I think it all sunk in. Making our way outside the flowers we had arranged were on display with messages written by the family. It’s worth mentioning that the weather on that day was marvellous. The Sun was shinning and you would have been hard pushed to find a cloud in sight. The sheer number of people who came to pay their respects just goes to show how respected my grandmother was by young and old as well as family and friend alike.
The day of funeral went as smoothly as possible and as per my grandmothers wishes, we couldn’t have asked for anything more. As silly as it is to say the realisation of the family tree came to mind on the day of the funeral and everything she had worked to create. We live and then we die, what is important is what we do in-between these two very different states.
It’s difficult to round off this post as I think it would be wrong of me to say there is a conclusion in this, I leave that for you to think about. I do want to say however that during this time I have learnt a lot about family, I have also seen a lot that will stay with me for a long while. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts, maybe in the process lighten the load in my mind also.
It’s back to work after the long xmas break tomorrow and I am actually looking forward to getting back into the swing of things, though I am certainly not keen on trawling through all my emails… Oh well, I have never been one for excuses so let’s just get to it and start the new year on the best foot forward!!
Hello! How is everyone doing? Hope you’ve all had a wonderful bank Holiday, I’ve had quite the busy one myself but memorable nonetheless.
The Hoxton Underbelly
I guess the best place to begin would be Friday, I was fortunate enough to have the day off though I did feel somewhat guilty considering how busy work is become and leaving my colleague to deal with it… So Friday evening terrible weather, big issues with ones hair (Haircut needed) and Wondering what to wear. I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Hoxton Underbelly in Shoreditch to see my friend perform at a intimate gig. I’ve never seen him perform and he seemed very modest about the whole thing which only fuelled my curiosity and anticipation even further. He didn’t disappoint not in the slightest. He is the front man for the band and writes all the lyrics himself though it would be rude not to mention his band members and their amazing talent !
I hope they don’t mind me sharing this photo of them, however these guys definitely deserve any praise they receive. Back to the band themselves there are some clear influences going on such as “Guns and Roses”, “Rod Stewart” and “David Bowie” to name a few. What was amazing is that they write all their own music and they have such a great presence on stage. I may not have seen enough live performances in my life to be have a great deal of authority on what might constitute a great live show however conversely my lack of knowledge on the subject makes my expression of how much I enjoyed it more believable. Do you agree ?
As Well as Moxy Ru there were a few other bands that graced the stage, all being independent band which I don’t think have record labels backing them, but these days that doesn’t really account for much considering the ability to self publish and distribute material. “Jay Scott & The Find” was the only band I actually remember, which is all thanks to their overly enthusiastic Manager taking it upon himself to let me know that I am his buddy, hug me and offer me a business card. It was a pretty surreal experience considering this guy was pretty larger then life and could have honestly snapped me in two if he wanted ….
The Venue itself was pretty cool and was separated into two sections. Their was the main Bar and seating area and a side entrance to the basement level where the mini stage,another bar and comfy sofa’s and seats doted around. Very spacious, the drinks reasonably priced and the food was “AMAZING” according to my bestie Anand. £4.00 for a ticket to view the performances though I was fortunate enough to be on the G-List as my Friend so lovingly calls it, get it G-List….. We stayed till the last performance and made ways back home and arrived at about 12.30. I had to be up in a few hours to get my things ready and catch a train to Dorset South Station at 9.00am From London Waterloo. Fun times ! Highlights of the night were: The music, The company, the Venue and being asked if I had any cocaine or where I could buy some as the gentleman was only in the U.K for four days (Strange but true) Maybe I was looking a bit shifty at the time..
The Dorset Get Away
It’s 5.00 am my alarm goes off and I decide I need at least half an hour to snooze which isn’t too unreasonable considering I went to sleep at about 1.30 am is it ? Half an hour later I force myself to get up and shower then get my things ready, always thinking to pack light as I would be coming home the next day. Luckily for me Anand stayed over and was kind enough to give me a lift to wear I need to be at another friends place for 7.30 am, I did make him some tea whilst he snoozed. The feeling of someone brining tea in bed is bloody brilliant, well that’s how I see it anyway (is it just me?)
Once myself and my Friend has everything we needed to got on the Tube and made our way to London Waterloo and start the 3 Hour journey to Dorset to Visit our lovely Friends for a belated Birthday Celebration. The Journey was pretty long but I had three essentials items needed on any long journey.
Hooded Jacket or Jumper
Headphones or Earphones (preference Really)
MP3 player, Smartphone or Tablet device
These three items combined made the journey that much more bearable, though I should mention I wasn’t travelling alone but I think my friend and I were just so dam tired from being up so early. Eventually we arrived and were greated by our wonderful friends with Chai Lattes in hand and begun the journey to Bridport where they live.
I feel like I should have been taking a lot more photo’s but I was just that content with viewing the surroundings with my eyes and listening with my ears that I didn’t feel the need to constantly grab my phone from out of my pocket and capture. I feel the image encompasses the most part what I saw in one image, though there is loads more to see up close and personal. I think the brilliance of this place is that it made me feel that much more relaxed. I am not a nervy character or someone who get’s easily flustered but I don’t have a knack for being switched on a bit too much sometimes and my Good Friends know this.
So whilst I was there I was constantly asked are you feeling relaxed yet to my amusement but hey after a couple of hours walking through the vast fields, feeling the beating sun and gazing into the horizon across the sea I was dare I say it .. Relaxed.
My Friend’s in Dorset were super accommodating and we met some of their friends as well, who I must say were wonderful. Guess if there was anything to take away from the whole experience is that I am very fortunate to have a good bunch of Friends but also that it’s really important to be able to put yourself and life into perspective. Living near the city and working pretty central in London, it can be hard to detach yourself from work, life stresses and really take stock of what is going on. Walking through the tranquil fields and looking in awe at the sea and hearing just hearing natural sounds really was a enjoyable feeling. One of my Friends in Dorset explained the contrast of being a country born and bred guy, studying in London and how life can be so chaotic in the city and how having the country to go back to is a bit of a blessing. London has it’s perks and attractions but the country will always be where his heart is. I don’t blame him though but I don’t think I would trade the city life any time soon. There is something about it that mesmerises, I’m still searching for that city spirit that exists in some niche corner of London. For the while the only views I am fixated on are the ones in the picture below…
The views aren’t as infinite as the sea but something lurks out their in the dark skies and florescent lights, I like the idea of that. Anyway getting back to the point. Dorset was great to be in, and I can see the appeal that it has. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there and the company I was with. Two days isn’t enough so I’ve kind of promised I would come back soon and stay for at least 4 or 5 days, I wouldn’t mind going out on my own and getting lost in the fields. Unfortunately like most things the stay had to come to an end and the arduous journey back home was rearing it’s long face in front of us, the only thing keeping us going was the thought of the bank holiday BBQ’s our family had waiting home for us.
Bank Holiday Sunday BBQ
After the long trek back home I was greeted by my somewhat confused brother and mother who weren’t quite sure where I had been since Friday evening though it was mentioned to my dad a week ago (My family is a bit rubbish at communication, myself included..) The wonderful things about BBQ’s are the laid back nature of them and the opportunity to just let your hair down with the ones you love. My nephew who is almost two was being his typical self, running around and full of energy,always shocks me how sharp and alert he is for his age, certainly puts all of us to shame I feel when we were his age! Overall it was a nice wind-down from the busy weekend and travelling. Soldering on through to the late night I did here some words of wisdom from my oldest brother (Interesting to get an insight into his values) about how it’s important to show people respect in life no matter where they have come from, been through or do in life. We all start somewhere to get to where we want to be but it’s important to be mindful of the journey we go through. Who know’s what will happen tomorrow I suppose..
That about brings things around full circle. The bank Holiday Weekend is over and I should be up for work in a few hours. As usual I didn’t include everything I wanted to express but at least you hopefully will get a feel for what I have said and maybe enjoyed reading about it. Thank you for reading and hope the start of your week isn’t so bad. I’ll be back soon with some more musings, till the next time, take care.
It’s been a fair while since I’ve done any blogging. You’ll have to excuse me as I’ve been working two jobs for the last month or so. As the title of the post suggests I’m on the train typing away on my android powered smart phone. (HTC Incredible S running on Ice cream sandwich or to be more specific an ice cold sandwich ROM)
I’m on my way home from work on the train, my usual thing would be to catch up on sleep and wake up in a unfamiliar place after missing my stop. It’s funny sleep has become the most expensive and desired commodity in my life atm. Working two jobs isn’t at tough as it sounds its just me being silly and forgoing sleep for some reason.
Since I’ve started working full time I keep on realizing that I just don’t have much time as I would like to do what I want outside work. I think things will settle and the pace will let up almost as if am moving at break neck speed. If i was being really honest with myself then I would realise life just seems to get busier as you get older (yes that old cliché)
I’m not too worried though because I’m actually enjoying keeping busy though I have been neglecting some important friends, but they ‘just’) understand. Simple as that really! The lesson if anything this month is that time is what you make it, ultimately it goes forward and you can only ride that current. What you do floating in that current is up to you. There is no excuse that there is not time. Open your eyes and realise that you’re floating in a pool of time.
I’ve invested my time in working hard this month so I intend to enjoy my rewards and share the ups and downs with my buddies asap. So from me to you I’ll just be the master and keeper of you’re time. Invest well in yourself and in the things you care about.
I’ve reached my stop so take care all.
Slight amendment met a friend on the bus journey back, life you rascal you!
How was your day, do anything nice?? I’ve spent most of the day trying to figure out what sort of angle I wanted to approach my blog, considering my decision to write about things personal to myself. It’s 2.57am I had a wonderful evening with a few friends of mine and during that time it sort of dawned on me how difficult my approach would be in future. It all came back to why I decided to blog and what I was looking to get from it. Surely blogging is a win win situation right? The freedom of expression, the liberation and means to speak what ever stems from your mind and soul.
For some that just comes naturally, they want to and always have been able to speak freely about their lives and the situations as well as experiences that are carved into their beings. The phrase “It’s good to talk” springs to mind, in all fairness though it isn’t something I would normally advocate or endorse for myself. It’s not in my nature or my character to speak so easily of my mistakes and my experiences (to some those are interchangeable words “mistakes” + “Experiences”, each to their own). Frankly who really does give a crap about what I have to say? Surely my friends and family have heard it all before, those of you who don’t know me so well or stumbled upon my post via word press, why should you entertain what I have to say?
The honest truth is, not many people have heard it all before and yes I don’t have a good reason for wanting you to listen to me impart my own brand of wisdom. What it comes down to is the matter of choice. We all have a choice, to blog? Yours is to read? This post may come across as being quite self indulgent, almost as if I’m trying award myself with a medal of honour for being so profound. All I want is to become more confident in expressing myself and not be afraid to say what I have been through, will go through and have worked on. I want to share the highs and lows of gurgs, my passions and my nonsensical thoughts at times. Deep down in my soul ( Soul > Heart ) I know if I want to reach my goals I need to change drastically and not shy away from expression,what ever forms it may take and not be scared to hear opinions and criticisms.
I am going to give it a dam good shot, get things back on track and paint the world in my own primary colours. (Have to dream big !) As always thanks for reading and please be sure to have a look at gurgs09.wordpress.com, It’s my photography blog in the works. Comments, suggestions and feedback as always. To my U.K friends have a good morning to everyone else please adjust the statement accordingly!